30+ Harry Potter Jokes for Kids (2023)

By KidSpaceStuff •  Updated: 03/07/24 •  3 min read

Need a laugh? Check out these amazing laugh out loud Harry Potter jokes for kids and children!

Kids Harry Potter Jokes

Boy Wearing Harry Potter Costume

Why did Professor Snape stand in the middle of the road? So you’ll never know which side he’s on!

How does Voldemort keep his pants up? With a Horcrux belt!

Why did Harry Potter go to art school? To improve his sketching skills!

What do you call a wizard who just finished his first year at Hogwarts? A sophomore!

Why did the quidditch player go to the bank? To check his savings and quaffles!

How does Harry Potter like to get down a hill? Walking! JK, Rowling.

What did the Snitch say to the Quaffle? Catch me if you can!

How do the Malfoys enter a building? They Slytherin!

Why did Harry use a computer? To check his H-mail!

Why did Professor McGonagall go to the beach? To transfigure it into a litter box!

What’s Harry Potter’s favorite way to get fit? Quidditch training!

Why was the broom late for school? It overswept!

Why was the Triwizard Cup so good at school? It was a goblet of knowledge!

What kind of laugh does a hipster witch have? A “Hex-hex-hex!”

Why did the Dark Lord buy a GPS? To find the Elder Wand’s location!

Why did the wizard go to school? To improve his spell-ing!

What do you call a wizard with a raspy voice? Harry Cough-ter!

How do you send a letter to Sirius Black? Use the Dog-owl!

Why was the Weasley house so cold? It had too many drafts!

Why did the Dementor go to school? He wanted to get a little soul!

Where do Hogwarts ghosts do their shopping? At boo-tiques!

Why did the Quidditch player break up with his broom? It always flew off the handle!

What’s Harry’s favorite mode of transportation in the desert? A camel-flage!

How do Hogwarts students keep their pants up? With magi-clips!

Why did Crabbe and Goyle never use computers? Too many bites!

What do you call two Quidditch players who share a room? Broom-mates!

Why did the Auror get in trouble at school? His grades were enchantingly bad!

What did the Golden Snitch say to Harry? “Quit chasing me!”

How does the Hogwarts janitor communicate? Through sweep signals!

Why did Dumbledore go shopping? For a new Elder robe!

Are you curious about the things you didn’t know about Harry Potter? Check out the video below!

Final Thoughts

Hopefully these kids Harry Potter jokes were enough to get a chuckle out of your young one!